the ride of a narcissist

 I attempted to find new love after I lost you

and it worked as well as you would have expected.

It was rough, 

a roller coaster I couldn't stop myself

from riding over and over again

no matter how much it left me sore in the morning.

my soul came alive and burned a flame 

bigger than I imagined and the adrenaline

shot through my veins quicker

than any injection high could have

given and I went back, first in line, every time,

and I pulled the bar tighter and tighter

to hold on to it knowing it would hurt

me later on,

smelling the rust on my hands from

the firmness of my grip, 

and how disappointed you would be to 

know I kept riding that ride knowing I

was aware of the pain and realizing I

let someone treat me that way 

after how much you loved me. 

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